Laughing and Crying
by LadyCrow74
Summary: Angel's angst as he is held prisoner by Faith. Twist ending.


First, disclaimer: I claim no credit for or ownership of these characters. No animals were injured during the making of this fanfic. Etc. Story is free to archive, just let me know so I can feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :-)  
  
  
Laughing and Crying  
  
My back hurts like hell. Pain. All my superhuman vampiric ability doesn't save me from that. But I shouldn't be spared the agony anyhow. Not after what I did as Angelus. Buffy told me that it wasn't my fault, that it was beyond my control.   
  
In my heart I know that excuses don't cut it.   
  
Now Faith has me chained up in this basement torture chamber. She's a young girl, roughly the same age as Buffy, but her eyes are hard and old. Buffy's a formidable warrior, but this type of dungeon layout takes a far more focused and ruthless mind. As I look over the stakes and whips and branding equipment, I wonder about how many vampires she has killed in this room. Savoring their agony before the final strike.  
  
Maybe it's better this way. Sunnydale can't bear the brunt of another attack by my demonic alter-ego. What if I become evil again? What if my next victim turns out to be Xander, or Willow? Buffy could see past the death of Jenny Calendar because she wasn't close with her, but if it was her best friend...  
  
I can't bear the idea of Buffy hating me for all eternity.   
  
A door slam. Faith has come back.  
  
I'll admit it, I'm afraid. I may be big, I may seem like a tough man...but I'm just like anybody else. I don't want to feel pain. I don't want to die. Even after all these hundreds of years...I still have a lust for life.  
  
But I've decided what I have to do.  
  
I have to goad Faith into finally killing me. To kill me now, before something happens, before Buffy bursts into this room to save me.  
  
In my deepest of desires, the thought of Buffy coming in now, her soft warm body next to mine, cradling my face in her hands, washing away all this blood...  
  
No.   
  
Goodbye, Buffy.  
  
And so I play the dangerous vampire to Faith's righteous Slayer, I convince her of what she already is sure of...that I am a danger to Sunnydale that needs to be eliminated. I laugh about the victims I have claimed, as much as it turns my stomach to do so.   
  
I snarl and smile menacingly as she lays the whip across my back, I tell her how I can't wait to get out of here so I can lay waste to the Scooby Gang in revenge.  
  
A red-hot poker to my side. Unspeakable agony. But still I laugh.  
  
Faith is enraged by my behavior. She wanted a pleading, simpering vampire to torture for days before staking the unlife out of him. In a perverse way this vampire's pain and humiliation would atone for the sins of my species as a whole. Penance.  
  
But...it must end now. I must convince her...that I'm not worth keeping alive. Too risky.  
  
Finally, she reaches for the stake.  
  
I'm delirious by now, pain mixing with my "Evil Angel" ruse to produce deep, dark laughter of a quality that disturbs me, not the last thing I want to hear before dying.  
  
Faith grabs my neck tightly with one strong hand to steady me, the other hand pulls back, stake at the ready, this is it...  
  
My last thoughts are of Buffy, and surprisingly, the rest of the Scooby Gang...Wil, Xander, Giles, Oz. The brief time I spent with all of them was the closest thing to family I felt since...  
  
...since before I killed my own family hundreds of years ago.  
  
Do it now, Faith!  
  
The stake rips through my chest, blazing hot. My sight dims, I feel my soul loosening from my battered body...deliverance...  
  
Then something odd happens.  
  
My soul...my essence...darkens. Hardens. Grows...fangs and claws and horns.  
  
No!  
  
But how can this happen?  
  
In my last sensory experience as Angel, I hear Faith gasp in horror.   
  
Then Angelus takes over.  
  
She'll pay for my humiliation. They'll all pay.  
  
Especially that blond bitch. Buffy Summers.  
  
END  
(geez, pretty dark, huh?)  
  



End file.
